I see that I am just making it in under the wire with today's post! I fear I haven't the brain power to come up with anything other than the following bit of rambling though...
I went to church this morning feeling reasonably okay...then someone asked how I was doing and I quickly deteriorated...sigh, what a pathetic weeper I am. (That and the fact that I am utterly exhausted from spending so much time at the hospital with Grammie.) But I have always been one to fall apart at the slightest sign of caring...it's like my floodgates burst when I come in contact with compassion.
I had a chance to apologize to Rev. Valerie afterward for leaving just as she started speaking ('cause that's gotta make a minister feel good - members of the congregation getting up and walking out the door!) But she knows about Grammie, so wasn't at all offended...in fact nearly put me in tears again with her kindness and sincere offer to help - whatever I need, just call. I just wanted some hugs of strength for now.
Anyway, onto my topic, brief though my post will be since I'm soooo tired. Grammie had another good day today (relatively speaking...she is still on life support so not out of the woods yet.) But she was quite alert and a tad feisty - woohoo, she's baa-aack!! It was so incredibly good to see her smile...as much as smiling is possible with straps around her head holding in the breathing tubes.
Her nurse today was a very blunt and to the point woman, no messing around or slacking off on this one's watch. Grammie did not care for this nurse and was making no bones about it. (She cannot speak, but made it clear in other ways.) When we commented on what good care the nurses are taking of her, Grammie looked over at the nurse, then back at us and frowned and shook her head "no".
The nurse was so hard-boiled that I got to wondering if it was an intentional contrast to the nurses of the past few days. I mean, perhaps the medical team feels it's time to force a change, for bad or good, so were pushing Grammie a bit harder today. I cannot imagine this would really be the case, but I kept wondering if this was a medical equivalent of a good cop, bad cop routine! It's just that the previous nurses were all so much gentler, the contrast is startling.
Ah but it gave us that "lightness of being" feeling to see Grammie acting a bit spunky and seeing her own self finally re-emerging. I think I might actually sleep well tonight!