« Images of Spring | Main | I like pie! »

Dog/Cat diary

I just found this in the WonderCafe Discussion Lounge...

DOG DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt
for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something
in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going
is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since
it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely
made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.
Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard
that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must
learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of
my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must
try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously mentally
challenged.


I also found this bobble head Jesus...who says organized religion has no sense of humour!

Comments (4)

Love the diaries (how perfectly they capture the spirit of both animals!) and LOVE the bobblehead Jesus.

A friend gave me a Jesus nightlight that looks very similar - I have it hanging in the laundry room and have to laugh every time I see it.

Kim:

OMG, that Cat Diary is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. I have tears running down my cheeks!!!

Oh this is SO funny! I was laughing really hard. Especially the part of the cat judging the dog.

love this! My ex husband called to say that our dog escaped on heat. I wonder what she would write about her day.

Post a comment

(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)


This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on March 15, 2008 11:28 PM.

The previous post in this blog was Images of Spring.

The next post in this blog is I like pie!.

Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

Powered by
Movable Type 3.33
© 2007 - 2014 Slow Travel