Letting Go
~ by Suzy Bogguss
She'll take the painting in the hallway,
The one she did in jr. high
And that old lamp up in the attic,
She'll need some light to study by.
She's had 18 years to get ready for this day
She should be past the tears, she cries some anyway
Oh oh letting go
There's nothing in the way now,
Oh letting go, there's room enough to fly
And even though, she's spent her whole life waiting,
It's never easy letting go.
Mother sits down at the table
So many things she'd like to do
Spend more time out in the garden
Now she can get those books read too.
She's had 18 years to get ready for this day
She should be past the tears, she cries some anyway.
Oh oh letting go
There's nothing in the way now,
Oh letting go, there's room enough to fly
And even though, she's spent her whole life waiting,
It's never easy letting go.
Oh oh letting go
There's nothing in the way now,
Oh letting go, there's room enough to fly
And even though, she's spent her whole life waiting,
It's never easy letting go.
I'm just home from moving Sara into her residence room at Dalhousie University.
I am full of the tears of letting go, full of the weight of her departure, trying to get used to the idea that my funny little girl is now an amazing young woman with a life of her own.
I pray for the strength to let go and trust that she will be ok without me. I pray that Sara will enjoy the challenges of her studies and become fully engaged in all that university life has to offer. I pray for the Spirit to bring comfort throughout this year of wonderful, scary change and growth. In my prayers for comfort, I include my friends Tricia and Valerie, who also have children taking new steps toward lives of their own this year.
A friend from work mentioned the above song to me the other day. Valerie shared the following poem in her weekly email to the congregation. Both made me cry. But as I read Kahlil Gibran's words again now, they remind me that, although feeling sad and anxious during these first days of change, I am also full of joy for my beloved daughter as she begins this new chapter of her life, and spreads her wings in newfound independence. And I know this path is right and good for her.
On Children
~ from The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Comments (13)
Oh my... how are you doing? Thinking of you. :)
Posted by Leslie | August 31, 2008 5:49 PM
Posted on August 31, 2008 17:49
Perfect song! It must be hard for you. It sounds like you have raised her well and she is pretty responsible. How far away is she?
Posted by girasoli | August 31, 2008 9:31 PM
Posted on August 31, 2008 21:31
I'm hoping for strength for both you and your daughter. I'm certain this will be good for both of you. It may be difficult but you both will be stronger for this. Gibran always has such appropriate words for life's changes.
Posted by Marta | August 31, 2008 9:37 PM
Posted on August 31, 2008 21:37
Oh, thank you all so much for your kind and supportive comments!
girasoli, she's actually not physically far away at all, but there are no busses from our community into the city so we decided it would be best for her live in residence. I think it is important for her to be immersed in campus life and build the kinds of relationships that help all students get the best out of their education. But oh, I will miss popping into her room in the evenings and talking with her. She is so full of interesting ideas and unique perspectives...I can't wait to see where these things take her in life! But at the moment, I'm still struggling with the knowledge that she has reached this stage of growing up already...it snuck up on me so fast, I need time to adjust! You are right though, she really is a responsible and strong young woman so I am sure she will be fine :)
Posted by Anne | August 31, 2008 10:09 PM
Posted on August 31, 2008 22:09
Oh Anne, my heart goes out to you. I think I've told you this before but I vividly remember standing in front of my dorm, after we had unloaded everything, and saying goodbye to my mom. We were both boo-hooing. It's such a big life-changing transition.
But it wasn't long before I'd made all these new friends, and many of my college friends have remained so until this day. It's pretty cool.
Hang in there. I think it's perfect timing and a blessing that you have your solo trip coming up!
Posted by Annie | August 31, 2008 10:53 PM
Posted on August 31, 2008 22:53
Thanks Annie, these are words to ease my heart! I so hope Sara finds some friends soon. Her roommate seemed really nice, although we only met her briefly. Of course there are so many activities planned this week, both for the larger Dal community, and also smaller events in her own residence, so she will have lots of opportunities to meet other students.
Posted by Anne | August 31, 2008 11:23 PM
Posted on August 31, 2008 23:23
How exciting! I lived at home my first year of college, and I think it's wonderful that Sara gets to fully experience college life! Hope her first day is fantastic...and yours isn't too traumatic.
Posted by softdrink | September 1, 2008 7:20 PM
Posted on September 1, 2008 19:20
I completely understand what you're going through and send my best to you and my best wishes to your daughter in this exciting new stage of her life.
I took my daughter at age 18 to San Diego to go to college and work and on the drive back home I was feeling so sad that I didn't say a word to my husband for six hours. It took me a while to realize that I have raised a responsible and independent child and she was now taking charge of her life as an adult.
It takes a while for us to realize that our babies are now all grown up and that they are capable of doing anything they want because we have done a great job as parents.
Hang in there!
Sending a virtual hug.
Posted by María I. | September 2, 2008 3:39 PM
Posted on September 2, 2008 15:39
Hi Anne, I loved the video and the beautiful words written by Gibran.
From what you've written, Sara seems like a very special person. I wish her all the best in what will be very memorable life experiences for her.
Reading your words, also made me remember the tears of my mom when I left for college and the emotions she must have went through letting me go! You're special too! Take care.
Posted by Kathy (Trekcapri) | September 2, 2008 4:06 PM
Posted on September 2, 2008 16:06
Anne, I can only imagine how hard this must be for you. I also remember when I first left home for college -- it was pretty hard, but so exciting at the same time!
And having a sympathetic roommate (as well as a wonderful Mom and family at home) will help Sara so much.
Coraggio -- you're doing a brave thing!
Posted by sandrac | September 2, 2008 5:43 PM
Posted on September 2, 2008 17:43
I feel incredibly blessed to receive such amazing support and encouragement from everyone. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart!
Posted by Anne | September 2, 2008 9:20 PM
Posted on September 2, 2008 21:20
Hugs to you Anne! I am sure she will love residence life but of course it is a huge adjustment. Best of luck to both of you! (Also wanted to share that I went to the sing-along version of Mamma Mia today. Awesome! They have the lyrics as subtitles and everyone sings. So much fun!!)
Posted by Chiocciola | September 4, 2008 11:11 PM
Posted on September 4, 2008 23:11
Thanks Chiocciola, I've been needing all the hugs I can get lately! (But doing much better now.)
Wasn't the sing-along version fun?! We sang, we got up and danced behind the back row, we even wore feather boas and ran around the theatre during Dancing Queen! (My friend Tricia brought boas for everyone...Miss Ninja was deeply mortified and pretended not to know us...but she kept her boa as a souvenir!)
Posted by Anne | September 5, 2008 8:17 AM
Posted on September 5, 2008 08:17