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Gratitude Friday...well timed messages


Like the message I felt this evening when listening to the song I Will Show You Love, by Kendall Payne. I first heard it a long time ago, but had forgotten about it until it I came across it again recently. Its haunting expressions of unconditional and all encompassing love and understanding resonate deep in my soul. Especially now as I stand on the edge of answering God's call, which I am hearing as a call to ordained ministry (although, as Valerie reminds me, discernment can lead in unexpected directions, so I am trying to keep my heart open to all possibilities!)

I was reading through the online academic calendar for the Atlantic School of Theology (AST) and suddenly had a "what the hell am I thinking" moment. My spirit's wild flight of joy and dreaming hit a wall of logistics and financial concerns. Thud. Ordination in the United Church requires a Masters of Divinity, so if ordained ministry truly is what I am called to do, I will have a lot of studying ahead of me. Which is actually really exciting to me!! Except I don't see how I can ever manage full time study since that will mean living on just Dave's salary for 3 years...and yet doing intense part time study for 5-7 years while working full time at my current job is, well, an ugly and unappealing prospect.

So...here I sat, pondering this dilemma around the educational requirements for ministry, thinking ok God, what's up with this? Whispering a call in my heart that feels impossible to ignore, and then throwing up logistical roadblocks that make me want to cry...

As I sat and pondered and felt my my heart tremble with doubt, I opened youtube and this song was on the top of my recommended videos...hmmm. Mysterious ways at work? :) One person left this comment on the song: "This makes me believe in everything a little bit more." Amen to that. So I take a deep breath...say a prayer...trust in my God that I am not called to an impossible journey, just a really challenging path full of bumps and potholes. And that I can handle, God being my helper. My heart stills and my spirit rises upward once again...

"When you call my name then I will answer, answer

I am on your side though the wind and waves beat against your faith
You were on my mind when the world was made
Trust in me my child, Trust in me my child..."


DSCF2575b.JPG


Full lyrics:

I will show you love like you've never loved before
I will go the distance and back for more if you just say the word

You will come alive again and call the trying times your friend
The pain that you have suffered through will never get the best of you
You will hope in something real that won't depend on how you feel
When you call my name then I will answer, answer

I am on your side though the wind and waves beat against your faith
You were on my mind when the world was made
Trust in me my child, Trust in me my child

Walk out on the water where you have no control
So scared to death of failure you sacrifice your soul, please let that go

You have climbed an uphill road, You have worn a heavy load
You have cried through endless nights and nearly given up the fight
Watched your dreams like falling stars the heartaches made you who you are
Now looking back you see that I have always been there

Where you gonna hide? Where you gonna hide from Me?
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go that I can't see?

I have heard you cry and it breaks my heart for I love you so
I would never lie, this is not the end there is still a hope


As always, each Friday I invite you to click over to Diana Strinati Baur's blog and check out the other Gratitude Friday Club blogs...

Comments (3)

What a wonderful song! Sounds like it was exactly what you needed to hear at the time (it's so cool when things work that way).

Have a great weekend!

Anne:

Annie, so true, this was definitely a message that spoke to my heart just at the right time. And such a beautiful song.

Amazing photo! Heading to bed now so I need to come back to listen to the song (still catching up with everyone).

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