Funny thing about travelling for me...I can hardly wait to go, and then...just before I leave, I'm always very, very teary and emotional. What? I can't decide whether I want to go or not?
It's a very strange feeling, sitting in my computer room, with a heated Pitpac wrapped around the back of my neck...last night, I think I pulled a little something...woke with a start and a sharp pain down the left side of my neck. Today, it's still there...and to add to the aggravation, I'm getting the fuzzy, nauseous edges of a migraine or a super-headache of some kind...damn! I'm leaving for Florence in a couple of days, and I want to be not headachey and dosed up on Motrin and drugs.
The tears...oh, yes...I have no clue what that is, although I suspect it has a lot to do with my being little and having a constant stream of people coming and going through the doorway of my life. Every time I leave to go away for any length of time, it's the same thing...and no clue as to what brings it on, except my missing the familiar. My home, my bed, my favorite mugs and my daughter, my son, my son-in-law, and my spectacular grandchildren...friends, my business and my clients...the familiar is what it is, I think.
Part of me longs to go...just go! Travel away and experience the new and the unknown. A small scared part of me inside says, insistently, "No, please, please can't I just stay here where it's safe and warm? Please?"
Tears...after the plane has lifted off, cruising altitude has been reached and the booze truck begins the rounds of the passengers, I'm fine. Just like that, the tears stop...and never come back...at least not until the next time I leave.