I've given up watching the coverage of the upcoming U.S. election on CNN, ABC, NBC, CBS, CTV, CBC, FoxNetwork...I've been on political overload this year, with the Canadian and U.S. elections running neck and neck, right on top of each other.
I often wonder what the candidates will talk about after it's all over.
What will they fight about?
Do you think there is an better person or a wiser politician?
Are they all the same, under the skin?
And, who cares, really?
I'm all for political jokes at a time like this. After all, what better than a little levity to break the monotony?
Try these on, see if you get a chuckle out of 'em!
CANUCK POLITICAL FUN:
The recent Canadian federal election was too close to call.
Neither the Conservative candidate nor the Liberal candidate had enough votes to win.
There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges...but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things. The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election.
After much back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest would take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Manitoba. There were to be no observers present, and both Steven Harper and Stephane Dion were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake and would return at 5 P.M. that day with their catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties.
At the end of the first day, Steven Harper returned to the starting line with ten fish. Soon, Stephane Dion returned with no fish. Everyone assumed he was just having another bad hair day and hopefully, he would catch up the next day.
At the end of the second day, Harper came in with twenty fish and Dion came in again empty-handed. That evening, Jack Layton got together secretly with Dion and said, '"Stephane, I think Steven Harper is a low-life, cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don't bother fishing. Just spy on him and see if he is cheating."
The next night, after Steven Harper returns with fifty fish, Layton said to Dion, 'Well, tell me, how is Steven Harper cheating?'
Dion replied, 'Jack, you're not going to believe this, but he's cutting holes in the ice!"
U.S. POLITICAL FUN:
Katie Couric: "What other Supreme Court decisions do you disagree with?"
Sarah Palin: "Well, let's see. There's...of course...in the great history of America rulings there have been rulings, there's never going to be absolute consensus by every American. And there are...those issues, again, like Roe v Wade where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So you know...going through the history of America, there would be others but..."
Couric: "Can you think of any?"
Palin: "Well, I could think of...of any again, that could be best dealt with on a more local level. Maybe I would take issue with. But you know, as mayor, and then as governor and even as a Vice President, if I'm so privileged to serve, wouldn't be in a position of changing those things but in supporting the law of the land as it reads today." ...unable to name any Supreme Court decisions other than Roe v. Wade, Katie Couric's interview, CBS News, Oct. 1, 2008
...and my favorite...
"Oprah Winfrey's in the middle of a big scandal, because she is refusing to have Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin on her show.
The friction started because Palin said if she's elected, she'll be the most powerful woman in the country. And Oprah said, 'The hell you will!'" ~ Conan O'Brien