This is just a bit of ramble that for some reason, came out as an idea for my blog entry today.
I talk with a funny accent. A question I am always asked :"Where are you from". And I always have to give a complicated answer.
"Well, I was born in Michigan, my parents are Palestinians, so I lived in Palestine on and off for a few years, and hence the accent. Currently I travel around the country". I wish I could give a shorter answer, but I am not sure which part to omit. Identity confusion has always been part of my life.
It is one thing to move from Michigan to South Carolina(my parents did that after the kids were out of the house), but it is a whole different story to move from Michigan to Palestine. And gets even more complicated when you move back to Michigan from Palestine. We are talking about different continents, different languages, different school systems, different cultures, different traditions and different expectations.
To be fair, our inside family traditions and expectations were the same, whether we were in Michigan or Palestine. But everything else was different. I remember as a kid, I would always get confused about which way to write; English left to right and Arabic right to left.When speaking, I remember for the longest time, I would mix up Arabic with English while in Michigan, or English with Arabic while in Palestine. The former was worse. Because kids in Palestine learn English and could mostly follow what I was saying. But in Michigan, they looked at me like I was crazy. The good thing was that kids adapt very fast. So after a little while after the move, I got back to "normal", until we moved again, and that "normal" became not so normal.
All in all, I enjoyed my childhood,I was a very good student, and got along with every one just fine. But I guess somewhere inside me, I always felt like an outsider in both places really. That feeling started fading away with adulthood;college and work helped me establish an identity that somehow mixes my life experiences in both countries together.
As an Arab-American, I get asked many "cultural questions", I wish I knew more, but I really don't. My parents are not very "traditional", and I spent my adulthood in the States, so all I know, is what I got exposed to as a child.Maybe in future entries, I'll talk a little about our house in Bethlehem, my school there, a little bit about the culture, and the few things I know.
For now, one of the fun questions I get asked lately, is about our wedding, since I got married few months ago. Most people want to know of any cultural celebrations that took place. This is a question I can answer. Our wedding was very "normal" in most American standards, I got married at my church, an Orthodox ceremony, then the reception was very standard with the exception of few Arabic songs that were played, and my family(everyone really) were dancing to Arabic music. The highlight would be a tradition where the guys in the wedding would lift the bride on a chair, and the groom on their shoulders and dance with them. That was fun!
You have probably seen this on My Big Fat Greek Wedding. (One of my absolute favorite movies).
As a kid I was confused with cultures, as an adult I love different cultures, and wish I have known more, and held on to more of my grandparents traditions.
Comments (12)
Great post, Candi and I can appreciate your living in two worlds.When most of the Jewish families left the city, I was very conscious of being different, or perceived as different. In reality there were many similarities btw my family and the families of my Italian friends. As I entered Adulthood, I developed a better sense of my own Identity. Now, like you, I am really fascinated by other cultures
Posted by sheri | February 24, 2009 6:52 PM
Posted on February 24, 2009 18:52
It seems you were able to benefit greatly with the frequent movement into different cultures and places. You must have a very flexible personality which makes these transitions positive. You look so beautiful at your wedding. I'm sure it was alot of fun.
Posted by Barb Cabot | February 24, 2009 8:36 PM
Posted on February 24, 2009 20:36
Candi, you've had a very interesting life!
I'd love to know more about what it was like to live in Bethlehem. I loved that movie too and if your wedding was like that one, I bet it was a lot of fun. That's a great photo!
Posted by Annie | February 24, 2009 8:47 PM
Posted on February 24, 2009 20:47
Very neat post. It is always interesting to hear about the experiences of people who grew up in two cultures. It seems like you have been able to keep traditions from both places and that as an adult you appreciate the experiences. It probably had a lot to say in making you a person that likes to travel and to learn about new cultures.
I am a foreigner living in the US but that might actually be easier - my childhood was 100% in Norway and nobody finds it strange that I have an accent.
Posted by Chiocciola | February 24, 2009 8:58 PM
Posted on February 24, 2009 20:58
This was a very interesting post. We have a family at our school who is from Palestine. The grandfather has many sons. Each son brings his family here and they live with the grandfather until the girls are 8 or 9 and then they return to Palestine. The boys sometimes come back later on their own. The families also go back to Palestine for months at a time, enrolling in school there until they return to Hawaii. I have had a few of their children in my class. I always wondered how they adjust when moving back and forth. The family has also been very kind to me, bringing me wonderful treats and home cooked foods.
I loved seeing your wedding photo.
Posted by girasoli | February 24, 2009 10:08 PM
Posted on February 24, 2009 22:08
Hi Candi, thanks so much for sharing some of your experiences growing up. You look very beautiful in your wedding photo and the dancing looks like so much fun. I can see why it was a highlight moment.
One of the things that I love about traveling is getting to learn about the many different cultures and traditions. I find your experiences very interesting. It would be great to learn more about your our house in Bethlehem and your school.
Thanks for this wonderful post Candi. Have a great day!
Posted by Kathy (Trekcapri) | February 25, 2009 7:01 AM
Posted on February 25, 2009 07:01
Thanks for sharing your story Candi, and I loved your wedding picture. As you probably are aware there is a chair dance in the Jewish wedding tradition as well - this summer our son is blending his traditions by wearing a kilt at his wedding AND getting married under a canopy by a rabbi - I expect we will be doing that chair dance as well.
Posted by Marcia | February 25, 2009 1:45 PM
Posted on February 25, 2009 13:45
It sounds like you do not have any identity crisis at all. You know, you appreciate, and celebrate both cultures. I personally think that it is sad to be ambivalent about our cultural backgrounds so once I see or hear someone who accepts and celebrates their cultural heritage as well as the present and dominant culture, I can really admire that. So, Bravo to YOU!
I love that beautiful wedding picture too.
Posted by Eden | February 25, 2009 5:05 PM
Posted on February 25, 2009 17:05
Sheri, when we lived in MI, there was a big Arab community, but my parents are in SC now, not many arabs around. So they feel the difference, bur they live it in SC.
Barb, I think with all the moving we had to be flexible.
Annie, I will try to do couple posts about my life in Bethlehem.
Chiocciola, I am sure your accent is pretty!
girasoli, sharing food with people is one of the main traditions in Palestine, so I am not surprised. And we used to spend some summers off school in Palestine too when we were young.
Kathy, I am fascinated by other cultures as well, and I'll try to post about Bethlehem as soon as I can gather something decent to blog about.
Marcia, I do know the chair dance is part of the Jewish tradition too, and i expect photos of your son's wedding. It was kind of scary being left up in the chair, and the guys are dancing,so the chair is not really stable underneath me:)
Eden, thank you so much. I try to embrace my "arabic blood", and I know it means a lot to my parents too, which is a big part of their decisions about going back and forth.
Posted by candi | February 25, 2009 8:12 PM
Posted on February 25, 2009 20:12
Candi,
I loved reading about your family story. You have certainly lived an interesting life!
Your wedding photo is beautiful too!
Posted by nancyhol | February 25, 2009 11:27 PM
Posted on February 25, 2009 23:27
so amazing! Really a great story and so interesting! I understand about the adaptation... our brains do that when we are young. My big question is have you kept the languages you've learned???
Posted by expatraveler | July 3, 2009 9:58 PM
Posted on July 3, 2009 21:58
Expatraveler,
Thanks for stopping by.
Yes, I have kept the languages.Funny enough, I speak all of them with an accent though:)
Posted by candi | July 3, 2009 10:08 PM
Posted on July 3, 2009 22:08