Eden's Wanderings and Wonderings

I got this from my son's Kindergarten Teacher. (Well, that was many moons ago, Kindergarten, not the email - as my son is now 27 years old.) I thought it's pretty funny so here goes...
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Subject: To all My Friends

To all my friends who in 2007 sent me best 'wishes', chain letters, 'angel' letters or other promises of good luck if I forwarded something,

NONE OF THAT SHIT WORKED!.

For 2008, could you please just send money, VODKA, TONIC Water, chips, movie tickets, gasoline vouchers and airline tickets instead?

Thank you!

Not my original but this was "begging" to be posted...

1. You spend the first two years of your children's lives teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. (This is so true with my kindergarteners who tell me about their home lives.)

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children
more awful than your own.

6. We childproof our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day. (I, personally take this to heart... LOL)

AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

Last Friday evening, I went to see Five Funny Females at the Purple Onion in San Francisco. I went to see a friend's daughter who was headlining at the Purple Onion. How do people find out they are funny? This gal / my friend's daughter, Dana, is FUNNY!!!

My daughter also went to the show. She and Dana have known each other since 2nd grade! That was over 20 years ago! We had a great time at the show.

Lesson learned from the show: Mothers don't let your daughters become stand-up comics. You will become a comedy subject that involves R. Kelly and MTV!