Our Grand Tour of Europe

Although we make time each week to see the wonderful sights of Provence, we're also now dealing with the issues of daily life. Kelly is going to school and making friends with other children--last week she went to a classmate's house for a birthday party and in January she's going skiing with her class for six days. We're shopping, cooking, doing laundry, and cleaning house. Charley has several "bricolage" (French word for do-it-yourself) projects at our house that will offset some of our rental costs, and he's also helping our friend Kevin lay a new hardwood floor at his house. I'm learning to cook some French dishes... cooking much more with garlic, olive oil and herbs. We're getting ready for Christmas, incorporating many of the Provencal customs into our celebration. Charley's daughter Angie and several other special friends came to visit us this fall, and we have five friends from Knoxville who will be arriving here on Christmas Eve. We even now have a cat and a dog! This is a very different experience than the first 16 weeks of Our Grand Tour.

I've gotten many e-mails from people who are reading our blog, especially since we have been writing about Provence. I love getting these messages, many of which are from people I don't even know! We must seem to be living in a fairy tale here in our old French farmhouse surrounded by storybook villages, vineyards and cherry trees--and yes, in many ways we are. "Your family is so lucky to have the chance to do this," one person wrote me. "You're living my dream," several friends have said. "How can you ever go back to Knoxville, Tennessee?" asked one friend quite directly.

We are thoroughly enjoying our life in Provence. I don't think any of us are homesick at all. We've developed a routine, we've learned our way around, and we feel very comfortable. We've even made a few friends. There's so much I truly love about Europe--and especially our lifestyle in the Luberon: the amazing scenery, the hundreds and sometimes thousands of years of visible history, the old stone houses and terraces, the crooked little village streets, the outdoor markets, the colors and scents, the cuisine, the simpler lifestyle, the interesting expatriates. At the same time, it isn't always easy to be here. Life is different--and in some ways much more difficult. There are many things we miss about home and our lives in America... some minor and some very significant... but fortunately, all temporary! So, lest anyone think that our life here is perfect or that we now prefer France to America, I've decided to present another side of the story... ten things we miss about home.

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Food very tangibly represents a country's culture. I seem to be much more focused on food here than I've ever been before. Perhaps that's because I don't have a job and we're eating almost every meal together as a family. Planning menus, studying recipes, shopping for food, preparing meals, setting an attractive table, choosing restaurants--these are very important activities for us now. Here we are in the homeland of French cuisine... where food is a very big deal, yet there are certain foods that we can't find here--which sometimes we crave intensely. So, three of the things we miss most about home--relatively insignificant, I emphasize!--relate to food.

Mexican Food

At home we eat a lot of Chinese and Mexican food. We've found an Oriental restaurant that's quite good about 20 minutes from our house and have been there a couple of times for lunch. (Because of the French ties to Vietnam, Oriental restaurants are more plentiful here--the one we like has a mix of Chinese, Vietnamese and Thai food.) But so far we've only found Mexican in one place in Provence, about 100 miles from here in the little town of Barcelonette in the French Alps... a place that has an interesting historical connection to Mexico. Unfortunately, we were there at lunchtime and the little restaurant was only open at dinner! We've eaten in a Mexican restaurant just twice since we left home--in Edinburgh, Scotland of all places. We really miss Mexican food--an ethnic restaurant that we could find on every corner at home, but almost invisible on this side of the Atlantic. Kelly especially misses Taco Bell--she somehow managed to persuade Charley to take her there at least once a week. Charley and I miss a little neighborhood restaurant in Knoxville called El Charro... good inexpensive food and especially great enchiladas.

The grocery stores in England and France do carry a small selection of El Paso do-it-yourself kits. And we found Lay's nacho chips (called "Dippas" here) hidden away on the bottom of a shelf at the Leclerc where we shop. We fixed tacos last week and I tried to make a Mexican rice. We haven't been able to find refried beans, and unfortunately, here in France, you must make your tacos with Emmentaler (swiss) cheese! Shudder!

The first night we get home, we want to go out for Mexican food--I'll push for El Charro over Taco Bell!

A Big Southern Breakfast

The French must save their energy for lunch and dinner, because breakfast is not a big deal here--a cup of strong coffee and a croissant is about it or some sort of dried toast that comes in a box. Kevin told us that the new McDonalds in Apt stopped opening for breakfast because nobody came. Now, I just love croissants and have one (or two!) several mornings a week, but sometimes we miss a really big breakfast--the kind we get at a Cracker Barrel restaurant at home: scrambled eggs, thick greasy bacon, sausage, grits (for Charley--I'm not that much of a southern girl!), homefried potatoes, big fluffy biscuits, gooey sausage gravy, enormous pancakes... oh how we miss the cholesterol and calories!!

The first morning we get home, I want to go to Cracker Barrel!

A Truly Great Hamburger

What is the ultimate American food? Not Mexican or Chinese or even a big southern breakfast. It's a hamburger! I'm starting to salivate just thinking about this: a big half-pound juicy hamburger on a real bun, covered with American or cheddar cheese, maybe bacon or mushrooms... with a side of slightly-greasy French fries... American-style French fries! I'm thinking Ruby Tuesdays, Fridays, or a restaurant called Littons in Knoxville. More cholesterol and calories for sure!

I'm really enjoying the French food--more so than Charley and certainly more so than Kelly. I like trying foods I wouldn't normally have at home and incorporating some new things into our family meals. Charley and Kelly both have several other foods they crave and talk about regularly. For Charley, it's Kellogg's Cinnamon and Brown Sugar PopTarts (he is truly addicted) and Jif's Chunky Peanut Butter. For Kelly the list is longer--Raman noodle soup, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, barbeque potato chips, Wheat Thins... wow--what a great diet my child has! She also misses canned chicken, which Charley buys at home to make her a special chicken soup. There's an entire section of canned tuna at Leclerc... even canned sanglier (wild boar!)... but not canned chicken.

This past weekend we were gathered around the fireplace in our living room, reading and watching television. Suddenly I had an intense urge to go fix a bowl of microwave popcorn... not available here though!

And it would be so great--just once--to have a grilled cheese sandwich... made with cheddar cheese, not Emmentaler!

Easy Laundry

At home doing laundry was a very minor life task. We could wash and dry whenever we wanted, as much as we wanted, and our washer and dryer were conveniently located in a big closet in the hallway by our bedroom. Here in Europe, doing laundry is much more complex--very complex, in fact. Some of our rentals in England had one machine that somehow both washed and dried in the same drum. (This meant that you could only work with one small load at a time.) Some of our rentals didn't have a dryer at all. We were supposed to hang clothes out on a clothesline or use a drying rack. I never thought of a clothes dryer as a luxury item, but apparently here in Europe it is. Many people don't have a clothes dryer.

The machines we have encountered here are all smaller and slower than what we're used to at home. The wash cycle on our washing machine in Provence is over two hours!! And our washer is only really big enough to hold bedding from one bed and perhaps a towel or two. Drying is even more complicated--ideally, it must be a sunny day! We do the wash the very first thing in the morning--or perhaps the night before--and then quickly run outside to hang it up and hope it stays sunny so the laundry dries before sunset. We are lucky to have a small dryer that works somehow differently than a dryer in American (and I suspect uses much more electricity). We sometimes use this drying machine for just the final bit of drying. We also bought a large drying rack that we set up in the kitchen near our propane heater. Kelly doesn't really care for our family underwear drying in the kitchen while we eat at the table nearby!

It's a really big deal to wash our bedding and towels. At home we wash our bedding every week--here, hmmm… maybe every two weeks or so. We're very conservative in swapping out our bath towels... they take such a long time to dry! And... gulp... we sometimes wear our shirts and pants a time or two more before washing than we would at home!

Seven-Days-a-Week Shopping

In America--at least where we live--most stores are open seven days a week. We can go to Wal-Mart or Kroger 24 hours a day if needed, and many places we shop are open from 10 am till maybe 10 at night. Shopping hours are not so clear in France. Almost all stores are closed on Sundays. Even in Paris, we found that most of the stores were closed on Sundays. (This doesn't seem to be at all related to people spending the day at church, as going to church apparently isn't a major activity in France for most people.) Forget about getting any groceries on a Sunday--even the big supermarkets are closed. Our local boulangerie opens up very early in the morning, but is usually closed from 1 to maybe 4 pm, and is also closed on Monday... or is it Tuesday? Many stores are closed on Monday or some other day of the week. It's confusing! We went to the French Telecom office to try to sign up for internet service... it was closed on a Monday. Imagine!

Almost all stores--even our village Post Office--close here at lunchtime, perhaps for two hours or maybe longer. Even the small grocery stores are closed at lunchtime. Is this something to do with French labor laws? Or something about the way the stores are staffed? Or just the accepted custom that the shop people must all have their leisurely two-hour lunch?

The microwave here in our house seemed to be dying a slow death, and the owners agreed to sponsor a new oven. We arrived at a large appliance store to make our big purchase. It turned out it was just exactly noon, and the two people inside were locking up to go out for their two-hour lunch break. The nice man must have spotted an easy sell... we were lucky that he let us in. We bought a microwave in just ten minutes--easy since there were just two or three models to choose from!

Sometimes shops are open during their posted hours, but sometimes not. When the shopkeeper goes on vacation for two weeks, the shop is just closed... there might not even be a notice. You can only buy gas on Sunday at places with pay-at-the-pump service (more limited here than at home), and you must have a special French card--a Visa for some reason doesn't work.

When I was a child, most stores where I lived were closed on Sunday and must have shut down at dinnertime. The little convenience store 7-11 was where you went for emergency items. That's all different in America now--even the 7-11 is now even open 24 hours. Although we prefer many aspects of shopping in France, we miss the accessibility and convenience of American shopping. Here in France we have learned (the hard way) to plan around the different approach to store hours. We always make sure we have food on hand and that our car has plenty of gas by the end of the day on Saturday. Charley has memorized the schedule of the two boulangeries in our village. And we definitely plan our shopping excursions to get to the stores before lunchtime.

The English Language

It's hard to live in a country where we have a limited ability to communicate--much harder than I realized. It can be stressful, frustrating and even lonely. We're all working on our French, but it's a difficult language... nouns that are masculine or feminine, usually with different forms of adjectives... difficult verb conjugations... different word usage... idioms... and then the pronunciation! There are different skills required for speaking, listening/understanding, reading, and writing. We did okay as tourists--ordering off a menu or checking into a hotel. But now we are living day-to-day in the French language... learning math at school, getting directions to a birthday party, following instructions on the back of a package of food, reading a note sent home from school, asking our neighbors to watch our cat for a few days, making small talk with other parents outside the school gate, talking to someone who's called a wrong number, scheduling our car for routine maintenance, buying a calendar from the pompier (fireman) who comes to our door. We struggle with these very simple things that were totally effortless at home.

I had my hair cut in mid October at a place recommended by Cynthia, the owner of our house. Marc did a great job with my hair, but he spoke absolutely no English! I used gestures to explain exactly what I wanted done to my hair. I was afraid to speak because I might say "horses" (chevaux) instead of "hair" (cheveux). At home Angela and I chatter away--Marc and I didn't have much to say!

We are all big readers--and now we finally have lots of time for this favorite pastime. But we find ourselves facing a drought--we're running out of things to read! We're reading our way through all the books in this house--and now we're borrowing books from Kevin's library. Friends who visit bring us books and magazines that we pounce on eagerly. My parents have sent old Times and Newsweeks, and several of their Christmas gifts look deliciously like books. A friend from the Slow Travel website is leaving me some books and magazines in Paris which I'll pick up over New Years. I've put out a call to identify bookstores in Paris that might have used books in English. Then, this past Saturday in Apt I hit the jackpot--on a side street, I spotted a used bookstore with a box full of English-language books on the table out front. I found a book I really wanted to read for only 1.5 euro, and went inside to pay. "Avez-vous des autres livres en Anglais?" I asked the man. He pointed me to the back of the store... several stacks of books in English! It wasn't Barnes and Noble... but I was delighted to find a resource for the next four months.

Our local Tabac carries the International Herald Tribune and a couple of London papers. I don't find enough to read in the International Herald Tribune to justify the price, and the London papers are also expensive. We have budgeted ourselves one weekly paper--the Sunday Times, which has a lot of reading but costs 5 euro. We have satellite TV here at our house and can get the British stations. Although I know, I know, we should be watching French stations to improve our French, we find ourselves watching the BBC. (Kelly and I just loved Strictly Come Dancing, which we hope will travel across the Atlantic to America.) It's interesting--even though we're now in France, we're still watching British TV and reading the British papers... we have been now for six months! I know all about the British news--David Blunkett's affair and resignation, the latest news of the royal family, the latest horrible murder--even though I'm living in rural France. But I do miss the weekly arrival of my Time and Newsweek magazines, subscriptions I've had for probably 20 years. And even though I read the Knoxville paper every few days on the internet, it just isn't the same as getting it delivered to my door and reading it at the kitchen counter over a cup of coffee.

Our Own Things

We came on this 14-month trip with a large rolling duffle bag and one backpack each plus a laptop computer. We mailed over Kelly's schoolbooks and some winter clothes (through the regular mail in 13 small packages), and our friend Jeanne and Charley's daughter Angie each brought a suitcase with the rest of our winter clothes and some of our Christmas decorations. We've purchased a few things here--new shoes and coats for all three of us, books, a few kitchen items--but we're sensitive to the difficulty of carrying anything with us on the rest of our trip and shipping things home, so we're trying (sometimes unsuccessfully) not to accumulate a lot. We've done almost no souvenir shopping.

We each have a small wardrobe of clothes, a few pairs of shoes, a couple of books. Kelly brought her favorite stuffed animal and a framed picture of her dog at home. We wear the same clothes a lot. Charley and I both wear a lot of black. I have one summer and one winter nightgown and I'm using thick hiking socks for slippers. I miss my comfy winter bathrobe, my warm slippers, and the crocheted blanket I snuggle in while watching TV.

We're living in a house surrounded by the lives and history of two other people. (Fortunately we have similar taste in many things!!) Meanwhile we do miss the accumulated possessions and personal items collected over three lifetimes that transform our house into our own home. We miss our extensive library of books, our collection of videos, and DVDs, our CDs. I miss all my cookbooks and the little things in my kitchen I may use only a few times a year... my meat thermometer, my serving dishes, my cookie-baking things. Although we have an old upright piano here, Charley misses his baby grand and all his sheet music. Kelly misses her stuffed animals, the posters on the wall of her room, her big walk-in closet. We miss having our past, our history, all around us-- our photos and paintings, my Grandpa Walton's old desk, my Grandma Coleman's fiestaware, our wedding china and crystal, 12 placesettings of everyday dishes and flatware, my teapot collection, our Fontanini nativity set and other Christmas decorations.

Daily Conveniences

Now, I'm sure most of these things exist somewhere in France, but they don't exist here where we're living. And since we're here for just a short time, we won't be making any major purchases. We're lucky at this house to have a large American refrigerator/freezer with an ice maker--many of our rentals had small under-the-counter refrigerators and almost non-existent freezers. But we do miss a variety of other time-saving appliances we had at home: a big, quick washer and separate dryer; a trash compacter; a blender; a mixer; a food processor; a crock pot; a bread machine; a coffee bean grinder; a coffee/expresso maker.

We miss a garbage disposal and having the garbage man come to our house. Here we carry organic waste down the hill to a compost pile, and we take our trash to public trash bins that fortunately are quite convenient.

We have a built-in barbeque around the far side of the house by the swimming pool... which unfortunately we're here at the wrong time of the year to use. We miss the convenience of our gas grill that sat on the back deck, just around the corner from our kitchen. At home we would grill out a few times a week--all four seasons, in almost any weather. We've used the barbeque here twice in 11 weeks.

I love having internet access here at the house. Our life here would be very different--much more isolated--if we didn't have the internet. We can read the newspaper, handle our finances, get information on Provence and other destinations, order presents, look up recipes, and reach the world through e-mail. We access the internet through the phone line, where the typical speed rarely exceeds 40 kbps. I use the internet a lot and really miss my high speed internet. I miss my printer/copier/scanner machine. I miss my little digital photo printer and all the good digital photo software that's on my PC at home.

I miss the ease of ordering things from American chains like LL Bean or Walgreens on the internet and having them delivered right to my door in just a day or two. (Though I have just found that the French version of Amazon does carry a lot of English books... and just got my first delivery in time for Christmas.) I do like the fact that the internet doesn't really care where you live though. I ordered a couple of Christmas gifts for friends and family at home and it was totally transparent that I was placing my order from France!

Easy Money

Our trip is much easier now than it would have been ten years ago--thanks to the internet, ATM machines, credit cards, and a few good people at home! The way I have everything set up, it's actually easier to manage our finances now than it was before we left! The rent from our house is deposited directly into our bank account at home. A dear friend deposits another monthly check that couldn't be set up electronically. I can e-mail my broker, banker or tax accountant at home if I need their help. Almost all of our payments are set up on automatic electronic payment. I can pay our credit cards through the internet. I can electronically pay other occasional bills, and my bank then mails a check off. I've been able to get cash from any ATM I've tried in Europe--at least so far! Most shops and restaurants take credit cards (normally Visa), though not all.

Now here's what I miss about money. Well, sure, the fact that wedon't have nearly as much coming in because we're not working... but really the fact that the currency exchange is complicated and definitely not in our favor right now. When we celebrated the millennium in Paris at the beginning of 2000, one US dollar pretty much equaled one euro. This time last year when we were planning our trip, I budgeted based on one euro being equal to 1.2 dollars. Today, the euro has reached an all-time high: one euro equals 1.34 dollars, an.11.7% increase since we arrived in France at the end of August. When we were in Paris in August, if I wanted 300 euro at the ATM machine, it cost me $360. Last week it cost me $402 to get the same 300 euro. Fortunately, we paid most of our rental costs in advance and several (including this house) were fixed in dollars--not fluctuating euros. But still, the trip has become more expensive than we had expected. Kelly will say, "Oh, but this only costs three euro..." and I will have to remind her that is now over four dollars. Money isn't so easy any more.

I also miss some of the lower prices we're used to in America. Although we do like France's very low prices on wine and grocery store/market food prices are very reasonable, many things in Europe are much more expensive: gasoline, electricity, highway tolls, clothes, books, toys, restaurant food. And the stores here don't really seem to have "sales" like we are used to in America. The taxes are extremely high, though I do like the fact that they are included in the sticker price of goods and not tacked on after-the-fact like at home.

What Matters Most: Family and Friends

By far, the most important thing we miss about being at home is our family and friends--especially those we are used to seeing on a regular basis. Now--finally--I have some free time, but I'm not having it at home! We're fortunate to have made a few friends here, connections I hope we'll continue after we return home. But we miss our family members who live nearby--especially my parents and Charley's two daughters and granddaughter. We miss having a lot of friends... knowing lots of people... in a community where we've lived for over 25 years. We miss being able to pick up the phone and chat with a friend, meet up with friends for dinner, get together with our family for the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. Kelly misses hanging out with her girlfriends, being on a basketball team, going to sleepovers. She misses her dog Milly. I miss my women friends and my friends at work... co-workers I saw every day for years.

Again, the internet makes our extended absence from home a lot easier... at least as it relates to many of our family and friends. Although I'm in France, I'm communicating more with some friends than I did during my busy life at home when we lived in the same town. My mother has been an especially wonderful correspondent since we've been gone. We e-mail a few times a week, exchanging the details of our daily lives. We probably know more about each other's lives now than we did when we lived just eight miles apart--back when I was consumed with a demanding job and social schedule. Still, it would be great to get with Mom and Dad a few times a month for a meal, give them both a real hug, and let them see their youngest grandchild grow into a young woman.

It's been more difficult for Charley to maintain regular contact with some of his family, all of whom live in East Tennessee. His brother Joe--16 years older than Charley--made a valiant effort to use e-mail, but it just wasn't for him. Since we've been in Provence, they've established a steady flow of letters back and forth--the first letters they've ever exchanged. Charley's daughter Jill doesn't have a computer and e-mail didn't work for her either. As a working single mother, she also seems to struggle with writing letters. Although they used to talk on the phone at least once a week and see each other often, Charley has heard from her only a few times in the six months we've been gone. That's been very tough for him. Fortunately, his oldest daughter Angie was able to visit in November, bringing news from home, and she also e-mails frequently.

On the positive side of this issue, we've really enjoyed spending time with several friends and family members here in Europe. I've enjoyed meeting in person several friends from the Slow Travel website… Beebee, Wendy and Richard, Pauline and Steve, Kevin. In May when we're in Italy I'll finally meet Libbie and also Judy and Brenda. We've had some extended quality time with Knoxville friends here in Europe--dinner with Brian and Jenny Huskey in London, several days in Paris and then in Turenne with Becky Verastegui and her friends Sherry and Janie, a five-day visit with our good friends Jeanne and Fred the week we arrived in Provence, a week-long visit from Angie and her housemate Kelly, and just recently a weekend visit from John Hoffman. On Friday we'll have a house full of friends--Christmas visitors! Our friends Scott McDonald, and Craig, Becky, Chris and Bekah Rohde will be arriving on Christmas Eve. My sister Debbie and her family have booked their flights for a March visit, and we hope Kelly's friend Allison and her mom Cynthia will be here for their spring break. We enjoy living at a "vacation destination," and the chance to spend several days with people we care about... hopefully, building shared experiences and stronger relationships for the future.

But still... it will be so good to see the people we love up-close-and-personal next August.

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So, it is not all quite the romantic fairytale here in the French countryside that it may seem from my other stories. Yes, we absolutely do love being here... surrounded by beauty and history, enjoying the simple life and the wonderful food... shopping at the markets, hiking in the vineyards... truly having an experience of a lifetime. But it's definitely different and sometimes much more difficult. Some of the things we miss about home are really pretty petty--our food cravings, our home appliances, even our personal possessions. For one year, we can do without a burrito and a garbage disposal, wear the same clothes over and over, and scrounge around for used books in English. All three of us are learning to make our way in another language and to watch our expenditures more carefully than we did in our American lives. And we're especially grateful for the internet access that helps us maintain regular contact with most of our family and friends and manage certain aspects of our life on another continent.

I suspect our life in America will be different in many ways when we return--in fact, we definitely want it to be different. We hope we return home in eight months invigorated and enlightened... and most importantly, much more focused on what really matters to us. The opportunity to intensely experience life in other cultures is giving us a new perspective on our own culture. Although there are some things we definitely don't miss about America (perhaps a topic for another blog entry), we have a new appreciation for many very positive aspects of our country and our lives there... many things we simply took for granted before.

What a year 2004 has been for our family! We greeted this year in Prague and will close it out in Paris in just a few days. I'm amazed at where we've been during these 52 memorable weeks: the places we've seen, the experiences we've had, the people we've met! We're looking forward to new adventures in the year ahead--three-and-a-half more months here in Provence, 11 weeks in Italy, and potentially a 100-mile walk in the Swiss Alps. Returning home is also definitely an adventure we'll look forward to when that time comes... we're just not ready to think too much about that yet!