First, I just want to thank all of you who have contacted me through e-mail and comments. I've said this before and I'll say it again, knowing there are so many of you wonderful people out there pulling for me, makes this all bearable.
Next, I want to share with you an e-mail I just received from my Aunt. I mentioned her before, as she's had a double mastectomy and reconstruction. Hopefully she won't mind me sharing her words of wisdom with all of you, but they really resonate - I may have to paint them on my walls, or at least, tape them to my bathroom mirror.
If good thoughts help to heal you, then you are well on your way; we are all pulling for your speedy "detoxification" and recovery. You seem to be doing all the right things, so what I tell you now may be unnecessary, but just in case, here it is: KEEP BUSY. Do not play any scenarios over and over in your mind. Remember, you just have to go thru each step/procedure once, so torturing yourself by playing different scenarios over and over in your mind, and therefore going thru them more times than you actually have to, is destructive to your well-being. Do what you have to do to take care of yourself, and then go about activities and live in the NOW on the hour to hour basis. Before you know it, each step will be over, and you will only have had the anxiety for each step much more briefly, than if you think about it all the time.
It took me about 20 years to realize this, but when I did, and forced myself to live that way, my quality of life was much better. (Of course let it be said that I only was able to do it relative to this whole breast issue; I still worry about stupid things like grandkids and such, all the time!!) I counseled friends to do the same, and it really made sense to them. I hope it makes sense to you.
Also, if you want some general info, have you read any of Dr. Susan Love's books. They answer a bunch of common quests. And never be reluctant to ask questions, no matter how many, or how often to whom ever you choose. It is your body and your decisions; be as informed as makes you comfortable.
I am here if you need me for anything. Love to you. Aunt Dennise
Okay now before any of you get any bright ideas, you can't go around calling me kimmee (that's reserved for my aunts, father and Doru). But shit - doesn't that all make so much sense? I also like the line "be as informed as makes you comfortable." I'm totally getting that too - there are certain things I want to know (treatments, effects) and certain things I totally care not to know (odds) and it's good to have someone give you permission to choose what you want to know and what you don't want to know.