I've mentioned this before but my grandma Ann (my Dad's mom) had breast cancer and in 1959 they gave her 6 months to live. In the 70s (yes long after the 6 months), she lost a kidney to cancer. And years later another tumor formed where the kidney was, and if I remember the time line correctly, it metastasized, eventually spreading to her brain. She died May 11, 1982.
She loved the song I Will Survive, sung by Gloria Gaynor, released in 1978. I think in part because she was such a survivor and perhaps, in part, because of the tumultuous relationship I've gathered she had with my grandpa.
After she passed, whenever we were at a family event, a b'nai mitzvah or marriage, and a band or DJ would play that song, to me, it was like she was there, a message from her.
Yesterday, as I was enduring my chemo coma, Becky came to my room to sit on the floor and spend some time with me. Becky has a friend, JT, and JT's mom has/had breast cancer. I sat next to her during one of our mutual chemo treatments. She's very nice. There's a Karaoke night at the high school but it's only open to students and staff, no parents. JT's mom told JT to tell Becky to tell me (follow that), that it's too bad it's not open to parents because we could do I Will Survive and whip our wigs off at the end.
That made me smile, then it made me cry, happy tears, because I do believe grandma sent me a message yesterday, through JTs mom, that I will survive.
Call me crazy.
But I do believe.