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Thankful

We met with the Rabbi of our synagogue last night. You see, each child that gets Bar/Bat Mitzvahed in our shul (aka synagogue), must give a D'var Torah. For us it's basically a speech talking about the Torah (aka the Five Books of Moses) portion we're reading in the synagogue that week, summarizing it, and telling how it relates to the b'nai mitzvah child's life and our world.

Sammi's portion is one of these obscure ones, that talks about sacrifices in the Temple (well, back then in the Tent where the Ark was housed and manned by the sons of Aaron), the types of sacrifices (animal, vegetable or mineral - well not really mineral), the way to sacrifice (fire, blood sprinkling, etc.) and under what condition a person would make a sacrifice (e.g., for thanks, for unknowingly sinning, for knowingly sinning). And let's face it she was having some trouble relating this to her current life and world. So we sat and talked and the Rabbi helped. We focused in on three things, being thankful and then the two types of sins (knowing and unknowing) but Sammi and I zeroed in on the thankful.

I had always thought we, as Jews, we were supposed to say 40 Bracha (little prayers of thanks) a day (something I try to hit) but the Rabbi said it's really 100 (though he'd be more than satisfied with 40). And it got me thinking more about my illness and the things I've been thankful for these past five months. So I thought I'd share them with you. In no way is this a complete list - and I'm sure I'll be adding to it but off the top of my head, this is where I'm at right now.

  • I'm thankful I lost the weight - if I hadn't Dr. M said I would never have found the tumor
  • I'm thankful for all the people who helped me lose weight (a post in itself
  • I'm thankful I found the tumor (not in a I'm thankful I got cancer kind of way, just that I found it when I did.
  • I'm thankful my friend "A" shared her cancer story with me when she did. If she didn't, I wouldn't have called my doctor to get an earlier appointment. I'm still upset she got cancer but...
  • I'm thankful "A" found her cancer so early (stage 0).
  • I'm thankful Dr. M (the Gyn - not the surgeon) saw me so quickly (within 90 minutes of calling)
  • I'm thankful the Radiology group saw me when they did
  • I'm thankful the people that work in the radiology group are so gentle and kind
  • I'm also thankful the people that work at the radiology group took the time to get so many pictures and get them right
  • I'm thankful the Radiologist wrote a strongly worded report to get this process moving along
  • I'm thankful Dr. M, the Gyn, followed up with Dr. M, the surgeon
  • I'm thankful Dr. M the surgeon saw me as quickly as she did.
  • I'm thankful that Dr. M, the surgeon (from now on it will always be surgeon), saw me at all. She's quite popular in these parts and hard to get into.
  • I'm thankful Dr. M, didn't pull any punches with me when she told me I had cancer. It made me trust her more.
  • I'm thankful Dr. M scheduled my lumpectomy so quickly.
  • I'm thankful she is so skilled.
  • I'm thankful she checked so many lymph nodes (8)
  • I'm thankful all my lymph nodes were clean
  • I'm thankful for everyone I came into contact with at the hospital for being so kind and attentive
  • I'm thankful for the coffee and cookies they gave me after my surgery
  • I'm thankful I healed quickly.
  • I'm thankful I was able to still go to Italy after my surgery
  • I'm thankful to Susan for getting me into a great doctor at the oncology practice.
  • I'm thankful to Lisa and Lori for getting in touch with Susan
  • I'm thankful Dr. F was able to see me as soon as I returned from Italy
  • I'm thankful Dr. F is incredibly frank with his info. It also makes me trust him more.
  • I'm thankful Dr. F has that cute accent. It makes me smile.
  • I'm thankful we were able to wait to start chemotherapy until after Thanksgiving.
  • And as sick as Clyde and Dave made me, I am so thankful to the thousands of people I imagine were involved in creating them.
  • I'm also thankful to the thousands of people who created Taxol (but maybe a tad more thankful because it didn't make me as sick ;D).
  • And let's not forget the thousands upon thousands of people who brought to market all the other drugs, both named and unnamed that I've been taking.
  • I'm thankful to the millions upon millions of people who have been raising money for cancer research all these years, that helped those drugs come to market
  • I'm thankful for all my chemo nurses who have gentle touches, kind words, and who are so incredibly attentive
  • I'm thankful for all the lab workers who too have gentle touches, smiles and laughter (and I am sorry for squirting blood on you each week).
  • I'm thankful for the different receptionists in the office, and their welcoming smiles.
  • I'm thankful my fever was treated so quickly and appropriately
  • I'm thankful my fever didn't develop into anything else bad
  • I'm thankful that my mom has been flying up here every other week.
  • I'm thankful that my dad encourages her to do so
  • I'm thankful that dad doesn't accompany mom up here because if he did, we'd surely get a blizzard (he's a bit of a snow jinx).
  • I'm thankful the deli up the street makes those great tuna salad on toast sandwiches - nothing like that first meal after chemo stomach goes away.
  • I'm thankful Dr. F gave me the go ahead to start planning my summer trips. It's been a huge mood booster.
  • I'm thankful that Ricky's makes such great, cheap wigs.
  • I'm thankful for all my hats and scarves
  • Ooh, almost forgot (as I've been doing this somewhat chronologically), I'm thankful to the team that inserted my port. It's working great and the scar is not too bad.
  • I'm thankful for the nurses in pre/post op when I had my port put it; they were a hoot.
  • I'm thankful chemo is almost over.

See that's what I have right now, off the top of my head. But there's a huge one that's missing, and that is, I am so incredibly thankful to all my friends and family who have been there for me through this, sending food, calling to check up on me, sending cards, gifts, e-mails, driving me and my brood places, praying for me, thinking of me, taking me out when I'm well enough, getting me to the gym, getting me outside walking, so many different things - that in itself is a multitude of blessings which deserves it's own post.

So that's what I have off the top of my head.

And yes, Lisa, for each of these things, I do thank God.

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Other Thinks (11)

Kim, this is beautiful, you brought tears to my eyes here at work! Hope the last stretch of chemo treats you as gently as possible. Can't wait to see you post that you are done with chemo!!

This one's got me teary-eyed. I'm thankful that you've got so many things to be thankful for!

Lisa:

You got me on this one. A few tears never hurt anyone. And I am thankful for you for being such a great friend, and having a great prognosis.

Palma:

Awwww, I am also choked up! I am thankful for you and the great progress you have make. You are so inspiring to others!

This is a beautiful post, Kim. Thanks for sharing it.

sheri:

This one brought tears to my eyes,too. I also look forward to your post that says chemo is finished. Glad that you have so many things to look forward to!

More happy tears over here.

Marcia:

And I'm thankful that you are able to share all of this with us, & thankful that I can count you as a friend. Your brachot list makes me kwvell or however you spell it.

Beautiful post Kim. This also made me cry. I'm thankful that you have so much to be thankful for. You are such a positive person and a real inspiration to so many people.

nancyhol:

What a lovely post, Kim! You are my hero(ine)!

jgk:

Kim, you have, from the beginning, had the best attitude about this cancer. You are the perfect role model for others. Maybe you should volunteer to talk to some newly diagnosed women?

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