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Puns

In our wedding vows, Brad said, "I make you laugh, and I promise I always will." He has pretty much kept that promise. We laugh often and hard together. I think it is one of the important parts in a happy marriage.

Brad loves to play with words, and he especially enjoys puns. Some are better than others. Some a completely dumb. Here is a list of the 10 best puns of 2009:

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE?

It is said that the ability to make and understand PUNS is the highest level of language development. Here are the top 10 winners in the International Pun Contest.

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The Stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, ‘Dam!’

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft Unsurprisingly, it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it, too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’ The other says, ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive’

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. But why they asked, as they moved off. ‘Because,’ he said, ‘I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.’

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal.. The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.. Her husband responds, ‘They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.’

8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to ‘persuade’ them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And, finally, there was the person who posted ten different puns, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make his readers laugh. No pun in ten did.

My all time favorite pun:

A man tried a new brand of iced tea mix with a picture of a cuddly koala on the box. It was the best iced tea he'd ever had! He decided he had to know how they made it. A quick examination of the box revealed that it was made in Mercy, Australia. Looking up Mercy on the web showed that it was just about the hardest place to get to in Australia, but he had to go.

After a couple of days of grueling travel, he finally arrived at the Koala Tea plant and begged for a tour. They showed him everything, from their hydroponic farm to the drying process and the brewing process. Finally, they arrived at the end of the brewing process, where they had a vat of boiling tea with a net suspended over it filled with koalas. At a push of a button, the net opened, dropping the koalas into the boiling tea!

The American was horrified, and disgusted as a layer of boiled off koala flesh and fur accumulated on the top. He turned to the plant manager and begged, "At least, tell me you filter that muck out of it!"

"I should say not!" sniffed the foreman. "The Koala Tea of Mercy is not strained."


Hope at least one of those made you chuckle!

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Comments (5)

sandrac:

I'm laughing -- and groaning -- at the same time! Thanks for the laughs, Palma, and Happy New Year to you and Brad. All the best in 2010!

Great puns!! My favorite is: ‘They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.’
Happy New Year to you & Brad! Wishing you a fabulous 2010!

Donna in SF:

Palma, these made my day! Thanks for the laughs!!

LOL!
Happy New Year to you and yours,Palma.

nancyhol:

I'm late to comment, but these really made me laugh. My favorites were #5 and #7.

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