Views from the Slow Lane

I feel literally tongue-tied here. I never get to speak (so, instead, I blog). The sentence I say most often "Do you speak English?". Steve just starts speaking in French (many people speak French in this area), then switches to German if he gets a blank stare. If we are in a café and Steve has been speaking to the waitress, then he leaves me to pay the bill, the waitress starts speaking to me and all I can say is "Sorry, I only speak English." Sometimes they then switch to English. Luckily I can read numbers, so I am able to pay the bill.