And perhaps I should! These are pretty lame, as jokes go, but it's February and we could likely all use a laugh. (BTW, I hope that Duccio di Buoninsegna (b. ca. 1255, Siena) forgives me for dragging him into this. Above is a reproduction of his Descent to Hell painted between 1308-11 and which now hangs in Siena's Museo dell'Opera del Duomo.)
My sister likes to send me email jokes, cartoons, etc. Some make me laugh in spite of myself -- like these. They remind me of the kinds of routines that comics like to use once in a while: headlines gone wrong, that sort of thing. (I once worked for a newspaper in Saskatchewan where I swear, the typesetters -- on purpose -- would routinely drop the final L in references to the Saskatchewan Wheat Pool. The Sask Wheat Poo organization was not amused.)
Anyway, here are a few items from my sister's collection of Church Bulletins Gone Wrong. BTW, she maintains they are all true, ripped from the typewriters of real Church Ladies.
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
Comments (11)
Hi Sandra, I almost don't know what to say! I reall like the painting! :)
Posted by Kathy (Trekcapri) | February 2, 2009 3:43 PM
Posted on February 2, 2009 15:43
Great laughs! Thank you for brightening the day.
Posted by Barb Cabot | February 2, 2009 3:59 PM
Posted on February 2, 2009 15:59
Thanks for the fun laugh during my lunch break. Some of these lines are hilarious! The people typing them must have been horrified! Great post :)
Posted by girasoli | February 2, 2009 4:22 PM
Posted on February 2, 2009 16:22
Those were hysterical!
Posted by Kim | February 2, 2009 6:35 PM
Posted on February 2, 2009 18:35
Sandra, now that am finished near choking to death/laughing, I have to say those are hilarious!! Can't even pick a favourite, they are all so funny. The typos in our bulletins aren't nearly this amusing! Love the Duccio painting too by the way, his Maesta in Siena is a favourite of mine, it just glows.
Posted by Anne | February 2, 2009 6:44 PM
Posted on February 2, 2009 18:44
Thanks for the laughs! I'm going to share these with a couple of friends that work at the church. Hopefully none of typos came from their church ...
I never heard of Duccio before. Must check his work now.
Posted by María I. | February 2, 2009 11:45 PM
Posted on February 2, 2009 23:45
Oh Sandra - I needed that good laugh after my first day on a new class. :)
Posted by Leslie | February 3, 2009 1:30 AM
Posted on February 3, 2009 01:30
Too, too funny! And some good "be careful" lessons in there for us writers...
Thanks for this great start to my early morning here...
Posted by dana kaplan | February 3, 2009 6:01 AM
Posted on February 3, 2009 06:01
These are really great! I love "Bring your husbands"!
Posted by Annie | February 3, 2009 8:14 AM
Posted on February 3, 2009 08:14
Thanks everyone! Sometimes there is nothing wrong with silliness.
I think my favourite has to be the plea for recycling items to cripple children.
Posted by sandrac | February 3, 2009 9:18 AM
Posted on February 3, 2009 09:18
Nothing like a couple of "participial endanglements" to provide some humor. My favorite is the "Low Self Esteem" group having to use the back door.
Posted by Brad'll Do It | February 3, 2009 11:45 AM
Posted on February 3, 2009 11:45