My recent adventures in bed shopping reminds me of that old song: I know an old lady who swallowed a fly/I don't know why she swallowed the fly/I guess she'll die.
The song goes to describe how the old lady then swallowed a spider to catch the fly; swallowed a bird (how absurd to swallow a bird!) to catch the spider to catch the fly.....and on and on.
Little did I know I'd be on the same track with my bed purchase! BTW, my new bed feels a bit weird, but at least it's nothing like the spectacle pictured above (can you imagine? to me, that bed looks threatening!)
I've been planning for two years to buy a new bed -- ever since I moved into my new apartment which has a lovely spare bedroom. For a time, I thought I'd buy a very cheap double bed since I don't have guests too often. But, as always, I procrastinated.
Until about six months ago, when a light bulb went on above my head: instead of buying a cheap spare-room bed, why not buy a new bed to replace my current model (which is 13 years old!) It would be more expensive to get a good bed for myself, but I was past due. Besides, I would then have a decent bed for guests because my current bed still feels very comfortable.
More procrastination ensued. Finally, I realized that I have two and maybe three guests all coming in April to stay at different times. No more delays, I must get a new bed.
So, I've just broke down and bought a nice Simmons BeautyRest queen-sized mattress with a big ol' pillow top. I almost need a ladder to get up on to it and the new box spring!
But before I made my choice, I slept around a fair bit (in the showroom, of course!) testing various mattresses and felt that for the money I wanted to pay, this was the most comfortable. I also bought a new frame, so my old mattress and box spring won't have to sit directly on the spare room floor.
Great. Except I realized then that the new bed is so high that my existing sheets won't fit around it! Fine, said the salesman, I'll throw in a sheet set. That was helpful -- they're only 300 count but they'll do in a pinch and since this is a pinch, they'll do.
Old sheets for the guest bed. Ooops, I realized then, laying in the bed showroom, that I don't have a duvet or duvet cover or bedspread or anything to festively decorate/cover the guest-room bed. Crap. I decided to buy a cheap bed-in-a-bag at Winners or HomeSense. That would do for the guest room.
Except I realized then that my existing duvet cover and shams, which are pretty but just barely cover my existing mattress, really won't properly drape over the higher, new bed. Double crap.
I realized then that, like the mattress decision before, I couldn't cheap out but was going to have to buy something decent for my new bed.
$500 later, I have a new duvet cover, shams, bed skirt (I have a lot of dust lambs under the bed.) The new bed should be delivered in a week or two.
I now realize that by the time my friends begin to arrive, I'll be too broke to do much more than point them to the spare room and wish them a pleasant stay.
At least I didn't have to swallow a cow to catch the goat, to catch the dog, to catch the cat, to catch the bird, to catch the spider, that wriggled and jiggled and -- oh, to hell with it!