Paris Hilton, my very favorite person ever
(I actually gagged a little just then), will be released from jail this Tuesday. I heard the news this morning and I must say, I'm not a happy camper. Beside the fact that I think the girl is a blight on America, she happens to live right up the street from me and I'm going to have to deal with all of those damn helicopters hovering above my area again when she gets home. I had to deal with that crap when they made the mistake of letting her go home for, like, 5 minutes a while back. I woke up to the sound of helicopters two mornings in a row at 6.00 am. Can’t her parents just buy her an Island to live on already?
Polluting my neighborhood with your noise and bad behavior?
SO NOT HOT.
Now, as the kind and forgiving woman that I am (stop laughing) I’d be willing to take on the role as mentor to this tortured girl and I’d be happy to offer my services if her parents would like to hire me to, I don’t know, take her to various countries of my choosing and show her how to act like a lady abroad? Hey, I'm cool with staying at the Hilton if mom and dad really insist. I mean I'd be willing to sacrifice my usual budget travel thang to keep the folks happy. I'm flex.
Say, I could even throw in some yoga which would surely help her with that anxiety of hers, no?
Yeah, you know where to find me...