Back to Montreal then…
I remember funny things, you know? I remember my lover’s apartment and how as he’d just moved there it still smelled of freshly done floors and plastic wrapping.
I remember the balcony that overlooked part of the city and how the pigeons loved to nest there. I remember talking to the one white pigeon every day when I was there alone and he was working at the university and how I grew attached to that dirty white creature with the odd feather missing.
I remember being hungry when I first arrived that night and how he wouldn't feed me until, well, until much later…
I remember walking to Rue du Parc at the end of my first full day there and how we signed him up at a little high tech video shop, got a movie and then had dinner at a Chinese restaurant that was really wonderful and became the place we kept returning to. I remember the fish tank next to our table and how I talked to the one lone fish as I felt sorry for him and how he mocked me laughing and saying I was pissing the fish off. I remember laughing too and thinking he was the only man I’d ever let mock me that way. Funny that. I actually liked it.
I remember going to the market that night as he had not gone shopping before I arrived and how everything we both picked out were things we both equally liked. I remember thinking happiness is shopping for groceries with a man you are passionate about and who shares your desire for organic dark chocolate covered almonds. I remember the market was in part of Montreal’s underground city and I wondered what kind of recycled air I was breathing. Buying food underground was a strange experience for me. It was like grocery shopping at a subway station.
I remember that night and how after red wine we both knew that bed was the only answer. It was…
I remember the next morning and how I awoke to the sound of classical music in the kitchen and the sight of him wrapped in a towel with crazy wet hair and drinking espresso. We made breakfast together, the two of us splitting a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and me making my big bowl of tea.
I remember watching him leave for work from the balcony high above and thinking I’d always know it was him as he had that funny walk and way of looking like he was deep in thought. I thought knowing him, he was probably just thinking about something silly. He could be such a silly man. I adored that about him. Over time we had often been terribly silly together.
I remember walking out that morning to a chilly day and making my way through downtown all the while thinking I want the night to come. I remember shopping for shoes on Ste –Catherine Street and how the really handsome man at the shoe store asked me if he could take me around the city. I remember thinking the scent of another man on a woman is a very seductive thing. I remember thinking there will always be men who want me; I am not oblivious to my charms. I said no.
I remember the feel of the city and how I couldn’t wait to see more of it, with him. We were both new to this city, after all. He had just arrived and I had just arrived to settle him there. I remember thinking Montreal was our oyster and how sweet longing really is.
And now I pause to reflect and recall.
More… there will be more.