Persnickety Tutu

Yes, this little teachick has landed in her 45th year. It's still a bit shocking to me as I feel like such a kid most of the time. How the time passes! I spent the day with my love savoring good food and cheer and met a dear old friend for some cake and coffee. Now we're off to Austin for a few days to soothe our souls with some quality Barton Springs dipping time and a few cocktails to celebrate life... YES.

How do I feel, you ask? Well, I feel pretty damn in my skin would have to be my honest answer. I'm teaching what I love, I'm about to embark on another training to offer something even more wonderfully healing to my students and clients and I'm told I've held up well. Yes, good genes don't hurt! I always say a good attitude hurts even less...

How have I gotten here?

The truth is that I've had a few incredibly stressful years that have put more than a few grey hairs on my head and have driven me close to madness more than a few times. There were days I was sure nothing made sense and the night was my only safe cover. I've moved through.

No, I'm moving through. All the good stuff doesn't just happen overnight.

I care less about what people think of me now. I try harder to be a nicer person. I stop and smell those flowers each and every time I pass them. I have gratitude for the small gifts far more often than I ever sink into regret about what I've lost or don't have. I've learned to have empathy for myself and in turn, I have more of it for others as well. I take pause more. I have an appreciation for the sheer imperfection of life and find myself laughing far more than I find myself crying. Baby steps.

I struggle
I judge
I forgive
I move on
I'm human

I am 45 and I am me

What happens next, well, that is a beautiful mystery...