Wicked Rants Archives

June 28, 2007

Valero sucks!

I now officially hate this petrol chain. I will never use them again and I hope no one I know will either. Why, you ask?
Last week they took my money and gave me nothing in return. NADA.
I got screwed!

Continue reading "Valero sucks!" »

July 16, 2007

Stupid people

I know I am shamefully intolerant of stupid people. I know I should try and be kinder and gentler and more forgiving of their ridiculousness. I should be more accommodating when they pontificate and blather on so. Bad wicked me.

And yes, you know the people I'm talking about...

They are the ones who ask questions that are so insane you know there must be an alien hidden deep within them somewhere. The ones that have nothing at all interesting or amusing to say and yet demand you follow their blogs, read their books or come to their parties so you can be subjected to more stupid people. And the ones that can't seem to step out the door without incurring some crazy drama or hurting themselves and seem to always be in need of supervision or, well let’s face it: another swig of whatever they were just drinking.

Oh, and the worst ones, that ones that have become very tricky with their stupidity, are the ones who sneak in right when you are in the process of resetting your stupid people detector and in that five minutes you aren't protected you turn around to find them pecking away at your liver like rabid crows. Slippery little suckers!

These poor dear clueless creatures. I really must work on being more tolerant of them.


For those of you who have said you want this t-shirt Extreme Costumes is the site that sells them!

October 19, 2007

E-mail scams

OK, I am sick to freakin' death of getting these daily e-mails from some dude in Nairobi or London or from the desk of some bloody estate manager telling me I've got millions of dollars coming my way if I pay some transfer fee or some such nonsense. I get dozens of these things every damn day now!

Continue reading "E-mail scams" »

November 1, 2007

Day four

Sickness sucks. No, it blows. No wait: IT SUCKS AND BLOWS!

I've got some funky combination of a Gastro viral thing coupled with irritable insides that I've suffered with for years now. My dad had it too.

I'm turning into my father.

Next I'll be wandering around the house in my knickers and talking to my cats all day. No wait: I'm already doing that. Never mind...

OK, so being sick makes me funny. I'm so out of it I'd probably let those annoying religious people trying to sell me my salvation in just for the company. Why you ask? Because being sick is a lonely thing. And it's my own doing. I won't let people around me when I'm sick. I'm like a dog that wanders off into the woods to suffer alone. I am an island. I'm tough and don't need anyone. I like to suffer in peace.

Total crap, right?

Maybe, but it's actually what I do. I suffer alone. I'm very solitary about these things. Maybe I'll change that one day. Maybe. And it's funny because I love taking care of the people I care about. I think nothing of it and have done so again and again. I'm nurturing by nature. Ask any man I've been involved with. He'll tell you.

I tried to ask for help this time. I asked my neighbor, the idiot good for nothing twit that he is, if he could pick me up some Tylenol on his way home from work (He regularly calls and asks if I'll make him some of my yummy tea when he's had a bad day). I was in pain and I needed some. He totally flaked on me so I had to drag my sorry butt out and make the drive to the drugstore all crumpled and bent over like a 90 year old woman so I could get my meds. I'm telling you, it really is easier to rely on myself. Yep. He is now on the LIST. No tea for him!


And now I'll go back to wandering around the house in my knickers and talking to my cats.


November 8, 2007

No politics here, thank you

I grew up being told you vote for the person, not the party. My dad, rest his soul, used to support the Republican Senator John Chafee who was the former secretary of the Navy. He was also a friend of my father’s and my dad said John was a fair and honorable man. I believe that he was. That said, we generally voted for the liberal candidates overall being the progressive and forward thinking family that we were. I confess the very first person I voted for when I turned 18 was Jesse Jackson. My family walked my butt down to the firehouse and said....VOTE. In my family it was a duty. Thank god I was raised with the idea that my vote matters. It does.

I was fortunate enough to meet Jesse Jackson and hang out and talk with him a few years back. We met up in the airport as we were both taking the same flight back to Los Angeles. We had one of those conversations that began in Chicago and ended in Los Angeles. We both agreed that we had never seen our country more polarized. I told him he was the first person I had ever voted for. He asked me what I did to keep my body in such good shape.

No matter who they are men will always be men. At least there are some things I can always count on. Amen.

The thing is I'm sick to death of politics these days. That some man seems to think he can dictate what I do with my body is beyond me and what really makes me twisty is that this seems to have become a real issue for many in deciding who gets the support of their party. Crazy shit if you ask me. Seriously.

To be honest most politicians are the same to me. Just a bunch of talking heads giving some variation of the same script and pandering to the party they have decided they want to belong to. Nothing pisses me off more than someone giving up their innate beliefs to get the vote. What's the difference between a prostitute and a politician, you ask? Not much these days, I'd say. They can both be bought for a price... BIG TIME.

I like people who walk the walk and have something powerful and meaningful to say. I just haven't seen it thus far. I just see and hear a bunch of talking heads spewing out the same nonsensical poop I've heard again and again. All of that posturing is exhausting. It makes my brain hurt.

Someone, anyone, surprise me. Show me there is still hope for us. I’ll buy you a lollipop.


December 1, 2007


To The Tune 'Red Embroidered Shoes'
By Huang O

If you don't know how, why pretend?
Maybe you can fool some girls,
But you can't fool heaven.
I dreamed you'd play with the
Locust blossom under my green jacket,
Like a eunuch with a courtesan.
But lo and behold
All you can do is mumble.
You've made me all wet and slippery,
But no matter how hard you try
Nothing happens. So stop.
Go and make somebody else


December 18, 2007

The bump and grind

As Christmas approaches I get busy with events. It is quieter than usual this season and it is clear that the writer's strike is effecting my business. People in LA are spending less money and having fewer parties this year. This strike is effecting so many of us, not just the writers.

I am doing a three day gig for a film studio beginning today and it is pouring rain outside. So, I'll be driving a van full of food in the pouring rain and by the time I get inside to meet and greet the client I'll look like a wet rat. Happy flippin' me.

I then have back to back events leading up to a Christmas day in home event I'm doing for someone I don't even like. I get to cater to a spoiled Hollywood type and I'm only doing it because the money is great and I have plans to travel over the next few months and I am willing to deal with the spoiled princess so I can do bigger and better things for myself. I'll make the most of the day. I'll drink wine and then treat myself to something yummy the next day. It's all about BALANCE, dig?

I started running recently and I am finding it's kind of fabulous to race through the streets with my iPod blasting funk out tunes. Granted I have to stop and pant from time to time as I'm a total lightweight, but I love the feel of being out there alone on the darkened streets. I feel like a panther. We'll see if I keep it up. I'm lazy by nature. I'm really just a big cat.

Off to the rain then. And yes, I actually love the rain. I'm like a cat, after all. I just want to nap or make love to the sound of it. Well, perhaps run in it as well....


February 14, 2008

On Valentine's Day

And because I always see both the light and the dark in life, and life is about the balance of both - as is the the philosophy I believe in, I thought I'd post this for fun. And well, let's face it: love can be tricky at times.

This Amy Winehouse video is a personal favorite so I'll share it with all of you on this cards and flowers holiday.

I just couldn't resist....

April 7, 2008

I support the boycott of the Olympic Games opening ceremony in Beijing

I am thoughtful in my decisions and as I will always stand beside those who fight for their right to freedom and freedom of expression, I stand with Reporters Without Borders in their call to boycott the Olympic Games opening ceremony in Beijing. China has not adhered to the promises that were made when they were granted the great honor of hosting the Olympic games in Beijing. Human rights are still being violated and the press is being banned from covering what is taking place there. I will NOT support those who foster the repression of their people.

Call me a wacky chick.

I will, however, always support the brilliant athletes who have worked hard at becoming the very best of the best and I celebrate them regardless of the situation at hand. May they be free, safe and honored for their great efforts and achievements.

Just a little personal freedom of expression here. Bloody damn good thing I have it...

~Freedom for all~badges_pack-1.jpg


April 25, 2008

Fuzzy Justice

My thoughts lie with Nicole Paultre-Bell today as the startling verdict in the Sean Bell case settles in. I am still puzzled and often outraged by fuzzy justice and I know that there is a serious inequality that still exists. Alas, I can only hope that with a new voice running this country of mine there will perhaps be some rays of light that appear over time. I am with Michael Bloomberg, the Mayor of New York, in his statement that there are no winners in this case.

May those involved search their souls and find a way to positively contribute to a more united community. And for those who now get to go back to their families and live out the rest of their lives as free men I can only hope that every single day they will feel somewhere deep in their bones how utterly and profoundly tragic it is that Sean Bell cannot be one of them.


June 9, 2008


Here's the thing: I'm sick of the flakes and the selfish and the vapid. Over them! So, in honoring my divine inner bitch I'm cutting them off. I am telling them all, and they know who they are, to stay away. Whip in hand here, people. Boundaries are drawn.

Yes, this little tutu is going solo for a while. I am readjusting the antenna and shedding the static. Clear signal only and no flippin' commercial interruptions.


No flakes, fuckwits, egomaniacs, bores, bullshitters, unchivalrous men, wackadoos, people going in circles, narcissists, attention whores, website hijackers or drama queens allowed. The sage is coming out and I'm opening the windows wide. Time to cleanse.

Ah, feeling better already...


Embracing the divine inner bitch? Kind of fabulous...

September 12, 2008

For your viewing pleasure

Let me see... Sarah Palin:

- Hunts and kills wild animals for sport

- Wants to take away my right as a woman to control my own body

- Would rather have teenagers birthing babies than practicing safe sex

- Has said she is open to an attack on Russia

- Doesn't believe in science (it's all God's will)

- Doesn't believe in the separation of church and state

- Doesn't support benefits for same sex couples

- And until very recently didn't even have a freaking passport?

Yeah, I'm with you Pam.

She sure can.

September 20, 2008

Just a friendly reminder

October 6, 2008

Elizabeth Hasselbeck is a flaming idiot!


I have to say this. I JUST HAVE TO.

I am a fan of the morning television show The View. It is my ocassional morning indulgence. Yep.

Well it has become harder and harder to watch. That conservative, airhead, once-upon-a-time-I-was-a-chick-on-that-dreadful-Survivor-show Elizabeth Hasselbeck makes me want to crawl through the screen and put my bony hands round her throat and shake until she stops talking. She is a perfect example of someone in the public eye who sets out to smear anyone who dares represent something they don't understand or accept.

She's on my LIST.

And of course she likes that super perky winking wackadoo Sarah Palin. They both took their 15 minutes of fame to launch public careers for themselves. Palin was a beauty Queen hopeful and Hasselbeck was a reality show Queen hopeful.

Same difference.

Watch this video and you'll understand my absolute contempt for this bobbit head.

Oh, she's the blondie with the big mouth and bad attitude.

Peace, love, om....

October 7, 2008

Bobbit Head attacks again!

Dear Barbara Walters,

If she's not even listening to you, well, you know what to do....

Send her unintelligent and uninformed little self off to Fox News where the big bad nasty sharks can eat her up. She'll make yummy fish food. Shall I send help to box her up and cart her off? Feel free to e-mail me if I can be of service.

Peace, love, om...

Kathy Bray

October 14, 2008

Cartoon of the day

Yes, it really has gotten this ugly. Go toward the light, man!


October 21, 2008

Embracing solidarity

During a time of such extreme division and polarization I am joining the ranks of those adopting Barack Obama's middle name. It is a sad time in the world when someone's middle name is used against them as a means to somehow negate all that they represent and all the good they can do. Not all that long ago a Jewish name was seen as a negative. Are we really that ass backward, still?

I've had to look long and hard at my own prejudices during the last few years and this election has really made me take pause and see so clearly how ugly and hateful people can get and how ignorance is the greatest culprit. An open mind leads to an open heart. I am trying very hard to have both right now.

So, until November 5th my name is Katherine Hussein Bray.

Deal with it.


November 2, 2008

Bye Bye noodlehead


Don't let that big front door hit your sorry butt on the way out!