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Living Outside My Comfort Zone

Aix%20fountain%202.jpg
Another one of the beautiful fountains in Aix

During our long trip, we met a man—a retired psychologist from Scotland—who lived in the small village in the Corrèze where we stayed for two weeks. James came to France not speaking any French and not knowing anyone. He told us that he wanted to put himself in a situation that was “uncomfortable.” I think that his objective was to stretch himself, to grow, to make sure life wasn’t too easy. It was an interesting way to approach retirement, and Charley and I have discussed James and his philosophy several times since the time we spent with him.

Now I find myself in a situation that is very much outside my comfort zone for these few weeks here in Aix. I’m far away from my precious husband and daughter, in a city where I have only a few recent acquaintances, living as a boarder in someone else’s apartment, in an environment where absolutely no English is spoken. Going to the school is a very positive experience, but the living experience is definitely stretching me. It’s not a bad experience—it’s just… well, definitely uncomfortable!

I’ve also kind of found myself this week without a “friend” at the school. Patricia—my Canadian friend—was just here for one week and flew home on Sunday morning. Markus—my fellow-boarder at Isabelle’s house—is back in Switzerland, surely enjoying gourmet food and wine. George—the Scottish man who was unprepared for the hike—was also here for just one week. I’m a bit adrift at this point without a “buddy” to team up with for lunches and activities. The truth is that I’m feeling a bit lonely!

Today after class I was starving. I thought I might see Annalise from Sweden, but she wasn’t around. So I went off on my own and ended up having lunch at Le Pizza, a restaurant where Charley, Kelly and I ate last summer. I had a great pizza and a glass of wine, worked on my “devoirs” (homework), and admired the sweet blond German toddler in his stroller at the next table. I did a little shopping at Monoprix and a libraire, and finally I made my way to the Carrefour Bar where I drank Badoit and worked on my ordinateur until the battery ran out. And then it was 5:30… no where else to go but “home” to Isabelle’s.

Isabelle had her grandson Matthieu visiting for the night, 2-1/2 years old and quite aggressive. The first thing he did was punch me, and later (when Isabelle was looking), he poked his tongue out at me seveal times. He is the son of Isabelle’s daughter Anne, who also lives in Aix with Matthieu and baby Lola. Isabelle’s sexy very bronze daughter Christine is still here, now mostly recovered from her surgery and getting ready to head to St. Tropez for a few days to update her tan. She had a friend—Sabrina—visiting tonight. I said Bonjour and went to my room to read and work on homework. I’m not a Sudoku person, but I even worked on a Sudoku puzzle in the free French newspaper that’s handed out on the street every evening.

Matthieu flung my door open a couple of times and gave me his tough-guy look. I couldn’t think of much of anything to say in French to a 2-1/2 year old boy. Finally, at about 7:30, he flung the door open to tell me “Table.” I think that meant, “Come to dinner.”

Dinner tonight involved a group: Isabelle, Christine, Matthieu, Sabrina and a young man who I was never introduced to. He was possibly a friend of Christine and Sabrina, but I have no idea really. He looked like the football player Zidane. I was definitely the 5th wheel at the table. Even if I spoke fluent French it would have been difficult for me to be part of any conversation. I couldn’t think of a single question to ask either Sabrina or Mystery-Man, not that they would really have wanted to talk to me. I did think of a few questions to ask Isabelle—did Matthieu go to a school, where was Lola—but she wasn’t really in the conversation either. Matthieu offered some diversion.

The dinner tonight was soupe au pistou, a Provençal specialty involving several kinds of beans, a few other vegetables, and basil. We were offered seconds of the soup, thank goodness. After the soup there was some cheese, fruit salad and melon. I had some more of the rose wine that I brought yesterday.

When it seemed the dinner was over, I said “merci” to Isabelle and mumbled something about my devoirs. And then it was back to my room for a couple of hours until bedtime. On Friday evening Isabelle is having “couscous” as a going-away meal for Christine. There are 13 people coming, one of which I guess is me. I’m trying to think very positively that this will be a wonderful experience!

The weekend is coming up, and I need to figure out some major activities to occupy myself and take advantage of this time in Aix. I don’t have the rental car anymore, so I’m a bit more limited. The school excursion on Sunday is to Avignon and Le Pont du Gard, but I don’t want to go since I’ve been to both a couple of times. There are some movie theaters here in Aix, so I could go to the movies. Maybe I could take the bus to Arles for the day? Or go to the Jas de Bouffan or Entremont? I’ll have to visit the Tourist Office and see what my other options might be….

Wednesday night update: I wanted to leave an update so that my friends and family don’t worry about me! Today was much better for me! Urs, the Swiss banker in my class, invited me to go to lunch. And in the afternoon (after my very good private lesson), I went with Annalise to L’Atalier de Cezanne, the St. Saveur cathedral (where the little private tour of the cloister was a peak experience of my time in Aix), and then a drink on one of the squares near the cathedral. I will write more about the cloister visit later.

I also found out that “Mystery Man” was Christine’s ex-mairie! Her ex-husband! Christine and Isabelle rolled their eyes when they told me that this morning. (I asked.) Interesting. That explains why he seemed so familiar with Matthieu.

But on the other hand, I am starving at Isabelle’s! Tonight’s dinner was extremely strange. (Christine and Sabrina went out to eat—looking extremely hot—so it was just me, Isabelle and Matthieu, who punched me yet again. I was first served a plate of small pieces of cooked chicken breast…. absolutely no seasonings or sauce. Isabelle and Matthieu ate a soft-boiled egg. After that—as a separate course— we ate haircots vert (green beans) with a little bit of butter. And finally, I was given a choice between an abricot and a peche. I chose the abricot. Perhaps this is the opportunity I've needed to lose some weight. ("But," she wails, "not while I'm in France!!!")

Comments (5)

marta [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I have been anxiously reading your updates to get an idea of what my intensive French experience will be.

Hang in there Kaydee. You are doing great with all the challenges you are facing.

Kathy, I think you are having such normal feelings - missing your family, feeling like an outsider, not sure what to say..... I know our three exchange students went through the same things at first (and they were each with us for a year!). Hang in there, the end is in sight, and my guess is that you are learning so much!

Sending warm hugs and support,
Gail

Leslie [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I think what you are doing is wonderful and I wish I could send you a piece of virtual chocolate cake.

Kathy, your story reminds me of the book Scruples? Ever read it? An overweight young girl goes to Paris to live with a distant relative (or friend of a relative or something like that), for a period of time. The woman serves food like Isabelle (i.e., barely any) and the girl comes home looking like a super-model. They say, "truth is stranger than fiction."

Hang in there and enjoy the moments that you can (and smuggle some chocolate in or something :D).

Just catching up on your blog! Yikes - come to Switzerland, we have a bed in the living room!! They speak French here!!

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